Mmmmmm, Mmmmmm what can I add for the FINE aaah PICTURE OF THAS britches!

 

On the first day The school board
Interviewed the first Teacher applicant.
They asked her, "What's your three favorite words.
A: June, July, and August.
The School Board decided that,
"she's not a Summer replacement."

 

 

The Hu-Mon needs to stand erectus or else they will be bent over and
have hump shoulders when they are 70. Teach your kids well parents.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nancy calls the Lunatic Asylum in the nearby town asks,
"Has a Lunatic been reported to have escaped lately?"
"No, why?" says the Office Personnel Director in charge.
Nancy answers, "Someone's run off with my husband."

 

Tom Turkey sighed and said, "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree, but I haven't got the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
Tom Turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, Tom reached the second branch.
Finally, after a week, there he was, proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon, though, Tom Turkey was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot Tom down, out from the tree.
The moral of the story is: bull**** might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

 

Kevin stumbles into the police station with a black eye. He says,
"I heard a noise in my back yard and went to investigate."
"The next I knew, I got hit in the eye and knocked out cold."
The LEO was sent to his house to investigate, and he returned,
1 1/2 hours later with a black eye. "What Happened,"
"Did you get hit by the same person?" his captain asks.
"No," he replied. "I stepped on the same rake in the Dark."